Tag: marriage

Learning about women, open relationships help – By J

Ever since my first attempt with my wife at an open relationship with another woman which ended in disaster, I can remember how much I learned about women from that event alone.  One thing about open relationships is that you grow and learn so much from them.

Making the open relationship work

Let me first say that being the male in this open relationship triangle I feel it is my responsibility to make everything work.  It can’t be up to the women in my life,  it just wouldn’t work out.  Learning how to manage issues with time management is probably the largest hurdle.  I can remember being in the middle of two people that wanted my time more than the other, it was tough! At times I told myself that I knew what it was like to be a woman that men wanted to be with, I was in the middle of both of them but at the same time I was responsible for making it all work, or not work in that case.

The fact is that I love making it work. I don’t know why?  X thinks I’m crazy being with two women like this, it’s not the first time someone has told me that I’m crazy but it’s something that I feel I need in my life and I enjoy managing it all in some freaky way that I don’t understand.  I love my partners and feel more fulfilled having them both in my life.

Jealousy and insecurity are temporary and can be minimized 

Dealing with jealousy, time management and all of the other concerns that partners deal with can be difficult but since E and I have been together so long it seems like it’s much easier, she makes it easy on me most of the time.  X on the other hand is nothing like the past relationship.  X has her moments where she feels insecurities and needs to be comforted which can be very uncomfortable with a long distance relationship.  I just can’t go over to her place or meet for a snack like E can with her partner when they have issues.  I have to do all of my communications with her from SKYPE or over the phone.

I began to understand more about women after having relationships with more than one at a time, I love my relationships now and they are still growing.  X is surprisingly very confident of our relationship.  I thought that would be hard for her being so far away with our time together only being 2 times per month for a couple of days but I’m really happy about her understanding and patience.

As our open relationships go on with other people E has become very supportive as well.  The first couple of months are hard but I think if you hang on and work through the difficulties that relationships all grow as long as everyone involved is realistic and they understand jealousy and the other concepts of open relationship difficulties.

I have learned so much about women in my relationships, maybe that ‘s why X does so well from a distance and E is able to tolerate her husband having a loving relationship.  The truth is I have always felt like I needed more than one person in my life and the discoveries I can make about myself and both of my partners in the process makes life a true amazing experience.  I am so grateful to have this experience and these two wonderful people in my life and I am grateful that they both understand who I am and allow me to live life in a way that makes me happy.